Reflection for Epiphany
It is never something that God owes us. We could fast in the desert for thirty years, or journey over field and fountain, moor and mountain. The epiphany of God to Jew and Gentile alike is grace. It is gift.
This gift prompts answering gift. The wise men to whom Christ's star is revealed in the heavens bring precious gold, frankincense, and myrrh. The one who shook Elizabeth's womb also recognizes Christ as an adult, hears the words, "Behold, the Lamb of God who takes away the sins of the world!" coming out of his own mouth as he suddenly comprehends (enough of) Christ's identity and mission--and gives away his own ministry in response: "He must increase. I must decrease."
Implicit in a true revelation of God, always, is a revelation of God's generosity to us. And that generosity at the heart of God, manifested first in the Trinity himself and second in his provision for his creatures, inspires those created in his image to give as freely as they have received. He was perfectly entitled, again, to keep himself to himself. And so are we. Dependent, incomplete beings though we are, he gives most of us the option to pretend we do not owe anything to anyone.
But he also gives us the option to exchange gifts with Almighty God.
I do not know how to do this well. Do I try, stumblingly, without feeling or satisfaction, to awkwardly give to other people? Do I wait on God, pray that he will manifest himself to me in such a way that I cannot help but give myself? Perhaps both? And what of judgment, of my being called to account for what I have not given, what I have not done? How can we give freely, image forth God's kindness, if we mainly do so in fear of being called to account and cast into the outer darkness? "I knew you to be a hard man, master..."
One of the weirdest things I sometimes see parents do is expect small children to be grateful, and then to be offended or laugh and say, "Look at how ungrateful they are!" when kids are given things and act like jerks about it. We still deal with this with one or two of our kids during a few of the days of Christmas each year. And sometimes it's hilarious.
But because they won't always be three, and ingratitude won't always be cute, we've gotten in the habit of saying things like, "Now, we're going to give you something today that is not a toy. You still need to say 'Thank you, Mommy and Daddy.'" We've never been romantic enough about child-rearing to expect the little creatures that emerged from us to be naturally grateful about anything. We're not (by this point) surprised when they act like little punks despite our best efforts to give them the world. But the more we've corrected this behavior and taught them to say grateful things (occasionally through threat of punishment), the more their responses have approached something that seems close to actual gratitude. But it's a habit--first of behavior, then of mind--that we've had to inculcate. And we do it, not because we need their good behavior, but because it makes them happier people, in the long-run.
I can't easily answer the question about judgment I've posed above. But I wonder if one way to approach it isn't simply to practice gratefulness when possible, even when uninspired--to mouth the right words and ask God's mercy when our hearts are far from them. I wonder if the deliberate spiritual discipline of thanking God--of making yourself thank God--might not inculcate gradual epiphany.
Because the amazing thing is that though we usually do not recognize it, all that we have really is gift--bright boxes brimming over with revelation of God. It is our task to learn to view each season, each day, each hour, and each present moment--however painful or pleasurable--as both pure Gift and Word. We must train ourselves to participate in the epiphany that has already been provided. If we can train our children to practice gratitude (with their faltering help), perhaps God can even train us (with ours).
God bless you if you've been reading these this year! Drop us a line, let us know if the site has helped you, what you've enjoyed, and what you'd like to see change. We'd love to hear from you!
Happy Epiphany!
It is never something that God owes us. We could fast in the desert for thirty years, or journey over field and fountain, moor and mountain. The epiphany of God to Jew and Gentile alike is grace. It is gift.
This gift prompts answering gift. The wise men to whom Christ's star is revealed in the heavens bring precious gold, frankincense, and myrrh. The one who shook Elizabeth's womb also recognizes Christ as an adult, hears the words, "Behold, the Lamb of God who takes away the sins of the world!" coming out of his own mouth as he suddenly comprehends (enough of) Christ's identity and mission--and gives away his own ministry in response: "He must increase. I must decrease."
Implicit in a true revelation of God, always, is a revelation of God's generosity to us. And that generosity at the heart of God, manifested first in the Trinity himself and second in his provision for his creatures, inspires those created in his image to give as freely as they have received. He was perfectly entitled, again, to keep himself to himself. And so are we. Dependent, incomplete beings though we are, he gives most of us the option to pretend we do not owe anything to anyone.
But he also gives us the option to exchange gifts with Almighty God.
I do not know how to do this well. Do I try, stumblingly, without feeling or satisfaction, to awkwardly give to other people? Do I wait on God, pray that he will manifest himself to me in such a way that I cannot help but give myself? Perhaps both? And what of judgment, of my being called to account for what I have not given, what I have not done? How can we give freely, image forth God's kindness, if we mainly do so in fear of being called to account and cast into the outer darkness? "I knew you to be a hard man, master..."
One of the weirdest things I sometimes see parents do is expect small children to be grateful, and then to be offended or laugh and say, "Look at how ungrateful they are!" when kids are given things and act like jerks about it. We still deal with this with one or two of our kids during a few of the days of Christmas each year. And sometimes it's hilarious.
But because they won't always be three, and ingratitude won't always be cute, we've gotten in the habit of saying things like, "Now, we're going to give you something today that is not a toy. You still need to say 'Thank you, Mommy and Daddy.'" We've never been romantic enough about child-rearing to expect the little creatures that emerged from us to be naturally grateful about anything. We're not (by this point) surprised when they act like little punks despite our best efforts to give them the world. But the more we've corrected this behavior and taught them to say grateful things (occasionally through threat of punishment), the more their responses have approached something that seems close to actual gratitude. But it's a habit--first of behavior, then of mind--that we've had to inculcate. And we do it, not because we need their good behavior, but because it makes them happier people, in the long-run.
I can't easily answer the question about judgment I've posed above. But I wonder if one way to approach it isn't simply to practice gratefulness when possible, even when uninspired--to mouth the right words and ask God's mercy when our hearts are far from them. I wonder if the deliberate spiritual discipline of thanking God--of making yourself thank God--might not inculcate gradual epiphany.
Because the amazing thing is that though we usually do not recognize it, all that we have really is gift--bright boxes brimming over with revelation of God. It is our task to learn to view each season, each day, each hour, and each present moment--however painful or pleasurable--as both pure Gift and Word. We must train ourselves to participate in the epiphany that has already been provided. If we can train our children to practice gratitude (with their faltering help), perhaps God can even train us (with ours).
God bless you if you've been reading these this year! Drop us a line, let us know if the site has helped you, what you've enjoyed, and what you'd like to see change. We'd love to hear from you!
Happy Epiphany!
